Clipstone Street

Time Machine

2009-04-04T17:48:00.000-07:00

The days keep going by, I kept playing golf, yet thankfully my scoring stays consistently at it's high altitude.

Membership has it's priveleges....

2008-02-11T20:50:00.000-08:00

2008 Buick

2008-01-25T19:36:00.000-08:00

It's Friday night, so they're half way through another 72 hole tournament. Kelly Tilghman is back on air, the Rev. Al Sharpton is still not as cool as the Reverend Horton Heat, and Tiger is once again in the lead.

It's not that he has a 4 shot lead at 12 under. It's that every tournament he's up there at the top. Every tournament. No other athlete has ever been this dominant.

Sabbatiny is t28 at -2.

Padre Fever......catch it?

2007-07-06T21:16:00.000-07:00

The NL West used to be a joke, and maybe it still is. But in terms of being an internally-competitive league, it's the one to watch.

CS prediction: Pads in 5 (World Series, 2007)

Newton's 4th Law of Thermodynamics

2007-07-06T21:14:00.000-07:00

"Whoever smelt it, dealt it."

El Tigre

2007-05-15T11:32:00.000-07:00

Recently heard....

In 2005, Tiger Woods had 485 putts under 5" in length on the PGA Tour. He missed....0.

And this next number doesn't even matter if it's close or not b/c his earnings can always be statistically valid at +/- tens of millions of dollars, but I think I read that he was the highest paid athlete in 2005. Total earning: $85 million. Not a bad year.

Same Bat Channel, Same Bat Time

2007-03-26T22:37:00.000-07:00

Lately the U.S. stock market has been......well, up and down. Or maybe we'll call it emotional. I see the headlines everyday, and they're really starting to lean towards a sentiment that is not new. They say things like:

The Housing market has not hit bottom.
Corporate earnings will most likely decline.
Clipstone Street is way ahead of the curve.
Consumer spending is important to the health of the US economy.
The US spends too much, both on a national and a personal level.

But people have been saying this for a while now. And I'm not referring to the usual Bear suspects. This is just common sense, no?

Yo Quiero Taco Bell

2007-03-21T22:50:00.000-07:00

My local Taco Bell always has a resident pan-handler. More consistent than the Rex-All security guard, and more often than not sitting on the curb by the front door with a good buddy, the local TB PH'ers always seem to be somewhere between the opening kick-off and the two minute warning of their buzz: ridin' high and lovin' life. Oh, and always a freshly lit cigarette in hand.

PH'er: spare some change?
Me: for what?
PH'er: {usually confused by my question} I need some change?

Then depending on the vibe I get from the PH'er, I drop one of two lines:

a.) No thanks, I'm good.
b.) Now what in the world do you need money for?

Either response seems to throw them all off. Mind you, I'm not kidding around as much as it may seem with these answers.

a.) means that I've decided they don't actually need the money, so, "no, my conscience can handle not giving you any money."
b.) is just straight up obvious, but they're playing the odds, so honesty doesn't really pay in that game.

Today though, the curb was occupied by a just past slightly dirty looking woman in her early 40's. And she didn't look like she was in any of the fun cars on the party train. On the other hand, she didn't look like she was doing too bad (v. skid row, where actually no one really seems to realize how bad they're doing), probably just strung out and in need of some good care, but she didn't have a buddy, or any cigarettes, or any hint of smile on her face.

Her: Got any change?
Me: Sorry, I don't have any change.
Her: {without even missing a beat} Buy me something?

As she said this I was sticking my hands into my pockets and realized I had two quarters in there. So now I'm a liar. Real cool.

So I turned back and said: "What do you want?"
To which she replied even faster than last time, "Steak burrito. No sour cream."

Next I'm in line thinking, "Steak burrito??" I'm not even eating steak! But I got it for her anyway, and like I do regardless of gender, social status, race, creed, and all that other crap I forgot to order it without sour cream. And in this small miscalculation I found some demented form of relief.........you'll get your Steak burrito, but you're gonna get it with sour cream, lady.

Of course I drove off feeling like a real a'hole, thinking that maybe she was lactose intolerant or something, that it wasn't just merely her preference.

Seriously?

2007-03-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

This is the urinal at Taco Hut (combo Taco Bell/Pizza Hut) in Kettleman City. Is it a mistake or do shorter folks rule the roost?

Is the bar too high?

2007-02-20T22:02:00.000-08:00

I love the marketing, and the push to try new things, and do things better, but does this sort of idea create in our minds an ideal that leads to trouble?

Not For Profit

2007-02-12T19:31:00.000-08:00

My Alma Mater called me tonight. Just checking in to see how I'm doing, what I've been up to, and to see if I might want to donate to their fund. The psychological methodology of the call was very interesting. Young, chatty girl talks it up with me about my experiences in school and what she's doing for a good 10 minutes before moving on to the meat of the conversation.

I think her first offer was looking for a minimum donation of $350. Apparently her foundation had mistaken me for one of their many A-list graduates. I politely declined.

Interestingly enough, she now was able to come below the previous minimum. "Would you be able to do at least $250," she innocently queried?

"Nope."

Somehow we got to $50. Lucky for me I had the same answer.

"Sorry."

When she asked about $25 I felt low and inhumane. How could I not possibly afford $25? Outrageous, preposterous even. I've either got to be lying, or worse, just a total complete loser. I graduated from their prestigious University with 2 bachelor degrees 14 years ago and still can't even cough up the equivalent of a bottle of Gin. Way to shoot for the stars, boyeee!!

So I did what any man would do, I caved. And the beauty of it all? She told me they were a non-profit. But my question is this:

Who is the bigger non-profit: The University of California or me?

Chavez at the Helm

2007-02-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

Per the Sunday edition of the Los Angeles Times, Venezuela's yearly inflation rate is 25%, and that figure is twice that government's goal. Copernicus I am not, but that seems to indicate a target rate of inflation of 12.5%. (Of course, Zimbabwe's has passed the 1000% mark and it's looking completely uncontrollable.)

And so Chavez has instituted price controls. This is not going to go well for Venezuela.

God Help Us...please

2007-02-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

I was never a fan of going into Iraq. But I also just couldn't figure out Saddam's fearless defiance....they strung him up, right? Why'd he have to pull a 'Thelma and Louise' on his country?

And, why can't humans just get along. Is it really that hard? It doesn't need to be nice and rosy, but what's with all the 'I'll bet my life on it' playground showmanship?

Iran has got to be kidding me.

Better?

2007-02-09T16:52:00.000-08:00

I found this while perusing The Big Picture today. Verdict: wow, awesome! I suggest downloading this free app and checking it out soon....

Computer Wars

2007-02-07T16:57:00.000-08:00

So I've been looking at Macs lately, and I must say, I'm tempted. The 20" iMac looks really, really cool. Of course the MacBook Pros look just as good, but damn! they're expensive.

And so here's the thing that I know is happening: it's glistens so I want it. Do I need it? No. Would it make anything I want to do easier? Maybe, but this maybe is a very complimentary maybe, and I think it's actually negligible.

My PC doesn't really give me any problems. And I've got 2.5 megs of ram, so it runs pretty quick. But I will say that it does have it quirks, like the CD burner that is never recognized by the machine anytime I need to burn something. And I was watching an episode of The Office, downloaded from iTunes, that would freeze anytime I adjusted the volume. Weird, huh?

Anyone actually ever read this blog? Any thoughts?

I will say it's pretty fun to go into an Apple store and have all these Apple freaks act like the difference is night and day. Like one is a cheese sandwich (American slices) on white bread with no condiments and the other is a plate of bluefin ahi seared to perfection with all the Tsingtao's you can drink.

The Bolts Are Still Going to the Bowl...

2007-01-14T22:02:00.000-08:00

...just not this year. They certainly had their shot at winning this game. In fact, I think they had several. Dropped balls, fumbles, unnecessary penalties (not even during the play?), blah blah blah...see you next year, San Diego Superchargers.

2007-01-13T10:52:00.000-08:00

Rocky II

2007-01-13T09:12:00.000-08:00

Saw it last night. I liked it more than Rocky, but I think I still like Rocky III the best. But maybe that's just because of the nostalgia of RIII. I was a young man, just making my way in the world, the next featherweight perhaps? I must've weighed about 75 lbs., 2.7% body fat, a human wrecking ball I'm sure.

But seriously, who can deny the Hulk Hogan's part of this cinematic masterpiece? Thunderlips was what all little boys should aspire to become. Remember when Rock got pissed and picked up Thunderlips and tossed him out of the ring? That was rad.

I think if I actually watched Rocky III again I'd probably change my mind, so I'm just going to leave it alone - ignorance can be blissful. Rocky II on the other hand was a pretty good movie, despite the toned down Paulie. I love hating Paulie and his role in RII was almost non-existent if you omit the part where he offers to knock her teeth out for The Italian Stallion. I need to have more Paulie; I need more self-destructive, alcoholic idiot. When he's at his best, and you're really hating him even though you're just watching a movie, you're suddenly struck with the reality that he's a friggin' moron. It's not done out of malice, it's just Paulie.

Slacker

2007-01-11T21:17:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's true. I've been slacking off again. And I've never felt better. Not really sure how to get back into the groove here, so I'm just going to be reckless.

$400 Billion so far for the war in Iraq. Wow, that's a lot of gin and tonics.
Can't seem to quite (but will) finish off "Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them." I like Franken, he makes me laugh, I think he's smart. But the book seems to be 80% partisan complaint that the Republicans are too partisan. Any way you slice it, the read makes me chuckle from time to time, and if I'm having a party and can invite anyone I want, Al is on the list....right behind that other lopsided liberal non-Gore Al.
Watched "Rocky" for the first time last night. Still think Rocky III was better. Those scenes with 'T' in the ring, still the contender, pushing the sluggish champ around, taunting him, chiding him with "you ain't so bad." Now that was a good f'in moooovie.
Finished "Dry," by Augusten Burroughs. A-
Couldn't escape the Deathstarish tractor beam stare of this local Greenpeace worker outside REI, donated $10/month.
The tooth that I had capped for who-knows-how-much-was-billed-to-insurance-but-I-paid $600 is now more sensitive to heat, cold, and any kind of pressure. And only because I swore I would blog about it, and then didn't, I'll let you know that I've had lots of dental experiences, and the 3 trips necessary to stick a piece of industrial plastic on my cracked tooth were the worst 3 I can recollect. Getting my root canal felt more pleasant and relaxing. Anyhow, lucky for my dentist she's this hot, Asian mother of 3, so you see why I have to keep going back? You do, right?
Belated b-day blast to JV......nice shot, JV!!
Currently reading "Magical Thinking," by Augusten Burroughs and will be watching "Rocky II" tomorrow night.

What's on your agenda?

The Joys of Irresponsible Youth

2007-01-07T20:39:00.000-08:00

I had a credit card all through college and didn't pay a penny in finance charges. If I bought something, I paid the balance in full before the interest hit. I was good at being good; I was establishing credit history without falling for 'the trap.'

This was back in the late 80's, early 90's. Then, as now but it seemed more normal, I had no money. I didn't eat out unless it was a taco shop, and my entertainment budget was limited to Mickey's forty's and games of pool in the living room. And I remember pretty clearly the day before we were to move out of our house in Del Mar for the summer. Quick back story, we lived in wood shack directly on the sand between 18th and 19th in Del Mar, CA. The owners rented out their ramshackle 5 bedroom, 1 garage with 3 people in it, to us college students during the school year for something like $2,000 per month, and we packed at least 9 people in there. In the summer they kicked us out so they could collect that amount every week. It wasn't a bad deal or anything, we knew it was coming before we even moved in every September.

So this last year we haven't really lined up any place to move to, we're all trying to pretend we're ready for finals, and the move-out date is speeding toward us faster than we care to realize. In the eleventh hour we just decide we'll pack the 40" truck and figure it all out later. Curt and I drive to Alberto's at midnight for several orders of "Chips con Todo" and 2 cases of Budweiser. At a tick before the final buzzer we find a great place across the street from the cliffs of Downtown La Jolla. Now we just need $3,000. Did I mention that we were college students?

So I cash advance the 3 grand on my pristine credit card and after we've moved in everyone pays me back in cash their portion. At this time I don't have a job for the summer, I've just graduated from college, and now I'm living walking distance from one of the most beautiful beaches on Earth.

Well...I didn't work all summer, just lived off the $3,000 in cash, read The Brothers Karamazov, hung out in coffee houses, surfed any time there was a hint of a swell, snorkeled and swam in the ocean constantly, and somehow never missed a party. And If I could do it all over? I'd pay twice that for half as much.

Who Wants Some?

2006-12-19T21:34:00.000-08:00

One of the more interesting, unique, loving, bewildering banshees I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and sharing a living room with for 9 months.

SP - you're one of the best.

Iran

2006-12-12T14:33:00.000-08:00

Ahmandinejad, kind of a buzz kill, don't you think? The guy has to be smart, right? He's the leader of an entire nation. I'm not claiming he'll do well in Trivial Pursuit or can survive in the wilderness without provisions, but he just has to be at the very least a "B" student. Can we agree on this? Even if we can't, just for argument sake, can you give me this one?

And then we get this: Ahmadinejad announced the conference would set up a "fact-finding commission" to determine whether the Holocaust happened or not. The commission will "help end a 60-year-old dispute," he said.

So, given this type of statement, we don't have too many options.

a.) He believes this to be true.
b.) He does not believe this to be true, but is using this to further his international/political drama.

Can there be other options? If so, please comment

Until then:

If a.) Wow. I'm stunned that you're this dumb;
If b.) Then, well, Fuck you.

Additionally, how do you solve this mystery? How would one, or say everyone go about uncovering the chilling truth to this 60+ year old caper? Now I'm starting to get excited. It's like when I used to watch an hour long episode of 'The A Team' only to be broadsided in my deepest moment of curiosity and pure enjoyment with "To Be Continued."

"To Be Continued!!!!!!!!!?" What the!!! mother f'n, sonofa, shiiiiiiiiiiiitttt!!!!," my eight year old throat would bellow. You can't just suck me in like this and then expect me to wait a whole week to finally be soothed back into normalcy with what portends to be yet another deliciously clever ending. I want gratification NOW!

Anyhow, deep breathes, breathe in, breathe out. I'm okay. But what is Iran really about? Why is this Israel/Palestine issue so important? Discover all you want, maybe only 1 Jew died from a staph infection and everybody conspired to brew this into the "Holocaust." Okay, what now?

Dear Israel,

We found out the truth. Please move.

Thank you,

Iran

How about this. Let's have some fun and assume the completely farcical, and totally impossible: the Israelis leave Israel. Huh? Pretty nice, eh Iran? So, for the second time in one post - what now? The Palestinians still can't feed themselves. And for that matter, get the world off their addiction to oil, and neither can you.

Tree Decorating

2006-12-11T19:57:00.000-08:00

As generous as it may seem, lending a helping hand when needed is just my simple philosophy for L-I-V-I-N.

Taught to me by Triscuit

2006-11-29T18:15:00.000-08:00

Did you know that 9 out of 10 Americans don't get the recommended servings of whole grain?*

No, I didn't know it either. Nabisco has kindly put up a site where one can learn about the benefits of whole grains and other sensible snacking options.' Do I even need to mention how important this site is? Or you could just keep on going down the path of senseless snacking. Your choice.

*From U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services.

Holiday Season 2006 Plan of Attack

2006-11-28T20:08:00.000-08:00

Get all gifts bought and wrapped by Dec. 10
Get tree and decorate by Dec.........1? Whoa guy!! That's right, we're going past aggressive this year.
Enjoy the holiday magic and madness. In the past I've always been swept up by the madness and completely missed the magic. Not this year, buddy.
Although I have many fine commenters here at Clipstone Street, there certainly is not enough money in the till to buy you 3 gifts, but just know that you are loved more than you think by the entire staff here.
Actually resist total self annihilation via indulging in sloth-like behavior.
What else? Any good ideas?

My Politics

2006-11-20T21:28:00.000-08:00

Because it's 9:29 pm, and to those of you who don't really know me, this is too close for comfort to my bedtime. Also, my tea is actually cooled to room temperature, I'd rather be reading, I haven't shined my shoes in weeks, my room is a mess, I haven't sent a thank you card to my grandma for her as always on time birthday card (from 9/23), and only God knows how many other things are pressing down upon me.....this is why I must get out my Politics. Now.

Surely we all know this will be sloppy, lazy, canned, cliched and served frozen on a no-name toothpick.

So....my Politics:

I don't like rich liars
I don't trust rich Socialists.
I get worried if a person with a lot of power is going to consult a numerologist, astrologer, or for that matter anyone/thing/idea that is too specific.
In the end I think it all evens out, e.g. Ken Lay is dead and countless anonymous people put in daily and by the minute, even second, more heart/soul/blood/sweat & tears than they will ever withdraw. Where am I? You tell me.
People in ivory towers are good for ideas, but horrible for reality.
Che Guevarra started well, and then ended up ordering death and murder.
I don't think Jesus would back even half of what his followers preach. Wait a gosh-darn second! Is that politics? It's all politics, si o no?

I picked up Al Franken's "Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them." I'll start it soon enough, after I'm done with AHWOSG, and possibly a few others that have stalled in the 2nd lane. And then we'll really get to talkin' bout politics. Funny thing about politics is that people get so hooped up on their party and their party's line, that they can't see through their own smoke. Well, I guess that goes for all of us solipsists.....

Coffee, Eggs, Cheese

2006-11-14T21:12:00.000-08:00

This morning I got waited upon by a pregnant, lazy waitress. She's sort of engaging, but then backs off at precisely that moment when you think she wants to interact, and then you feel even more stupid. Anyhow, I hope that baby runs her ragged.

p.s. I'm done with "Homicide Special," and have moved on to "A Heatbreaking Work of Staggering Genius," by Dave Eggers. So far I'm sucked in to the core, and it's hot in here.

Computer Wars

2006-11-13T20:09:00.000-08:00

So my Mom wants to get a new computer. She's not really computer literate, but I think 'point and click' makes it pretty easy for anyone to pick it up....if they want to. I can get deals on certain big name PC's, so I told her to give me her budget and I'd get her what she needs. For her, the prospect of buying a computer is beyond daunting, it's acutally a fraction short of impossible. She still doesn't totally comprehend the idea that all PC's are basically the same, and what you're buying is a brand, or a feeling of comfort, or the idea that you got a better price, or paid more for better Customer Service, or something along those lines.

Stepping back a few weeks, we just upgraded our Ipod mini to a full 30 GB Ipod. How did that happen you ask? What was wrong with the mini? Well, friend, I won't disparage my mini is this post (though there were a few non-size issues), but I will let you know this: if you don't want to spend money on Apple "stuff," then don't walk into the Apple store because you have 30 minutes to kill before your movie starts.

Don't. Just don't do it.

We did.

And we walked out with a brand new, sucka-sweet lil' electronic/video/photo music playing machine. What's this have to do with the computer my mom thinks she wants? Well, if you'd pipe down a second, I'd tell you.

Whilst casually strolling the Apple store, it's just not legitimate to think that you won't tinker with the computers. I mean, iff you're in there, and you're not at least pretending that you know what you're clicking on, then......well, what the 'f' are you doing in there!? And so, I must admit that I do like the 'experience.' Do they run faster or better or have less issues than PC's? I don't know. My PC can run Photoshop, iTunes, Dreamweaver, and Bejeweled all at the same time without a hiccup. But I will admit, I like the way Apples seem to run.

So I'm starting to think that maybe my mom would do well with an iBook. What do you think? Here's how I break down the basic differences, keeping in mind that my mom really only needs to surf the net, send email, and check out her digital photos:

PC advantage: bigger screen, less money
Apple advantage: just really cool looking

So, the pragmatist in me is screaming "how can you go with 'more expensive' because it's really cool looking!!?'" But the materialist in me is calmly negotiating that you only go around once, and it's only slightly more expensive, and who knows, maybe she totally gets into media related fun, and then Apple has the edge of just making that easier. My mom is not about to take the time to learn computers.

Unrelated to my mom and her impending purchase, and shifting the focus back to where is usually should be - on me - I'd have to say (again, just for me) if money weren't an issue, I'd go Apple. Alas, money is an issue, so I go PC and I think my machine works better than fine.

Rumy's Gone

2006-11-08T22:08:00.000-08:00

Terrapin - I can't figure out
Terrapin - if it's an end or the beginning
Terrapin - but the train's got its brakes on and the whistle is screaming...

How quickly the tide comes and goes. The Decider didn't take long to release Don. I heard several soundbytes (sp?) of people claiming that he should have resigned long ago. Of course, I believe he did try to resign twice before. Not that I'm a fan of DR, but witchhunts of figureheads usually miss the mark.

Wait a minute! This isn't a politico-blog, damnit! But before we move on, I would like to say that the writers here at Clipstone Street are pleased to see that the PEOPLE have acted upon their dissatisfaction, and that it seems that they did vote for change. Change can be good. Once, I changed my underpants....and it felt glorious!!

Books and Movies

2006-11-07T21:50:00.000-08:00

So I finished reading The Kite Runner. If I were some slacker/movie-reviewer, or writing a snippet for a book jacket, I might call it "gripping and compelling." But I'm not, so let me just tell you it's a great, great story. And I loved it.

Now I'm reading Homicide Special, and while it's interesting while being gripping but maybe not compelling, I'm ready to be done with it and move on to something better. I really want to read Dry and Running With Scissors, both by Augusten Burroughs. Saw the movie RWS, and while most people seem to have been annoyed by it, I liked it. Of course, any movie with a decent soundtrack will always garner at least a B from this guy. Like in High School, I received many a "B" when I probably deserved less. Scratch that last statement, the acting was good, the characters were whacked, and I had a great time watching it.

Last weekend we saw Flags of our Fathers, and that was pretty good too. I read Flyboys recently, and that book was an eye-opener. I'm going to leave it at that.

quick food update: The night I wrote this, we had turkey tacos, and they were the chingon, pelon!! And now I'm working on finishing up the homemade enchiladas. Que bueno.

Gotta Get the Info

2006-11-06T21:19:00.000-08:00

I didn't know Bob Hoskins was in Pink Floyd's The Wall. Why doesn't anyone tell me these things!?

My Food Habits: An Introduction

2006-11-02T14:45:00.000-08:00

Last night's dinner: A turkey burger with cheddar cheese, bbq sauce, dijon mustard, and Tapatio. Oh, almost forgot the side dish of homemade potato salad...mmmmmm, good!

Today's lunch: A turkey sandwich on wheat bread toasted in the oven with cheddar cheese, and then lovingly adorned with dijon mustard and Tapatio. Fantastico!

Both meals were devoured in my apartment with the always trusty glass of water. Simple ingredients just seem to satisfy me. I think I could spend the rest of my days with bread or tortilla, beans, rice, hot sauce, and cheese.

Yes, I did have a couple of Halloween candies that my sister left, but let's focus on the positive. Or if you want to dabble in the negative, I have a temporary crown on the upper right side of my jaw, and I still couldn't resist popping a few Milk Duds into my mouth. I chewed them up using only the left side of my jaw, but that's where my permanent crown from 3 years ago is sitting.

Question: how many Milk Duds do you think it would take to finally pull a permanent crown out of someone's jaw?

Untitled, for now

2006-11-01T21:22:00.000-08:00

One of my grandmothers is 86, or maybe 87 years old. Her one and only husband, the guy who married her as a young girl and stayed by her side their entire lives passed away from Parkinson's disease about 5 years ago. She has lived alone in their apartment ever since. Of course I say alone, but this 86, or 87 year old woman has more energy, and a more full social calendar than most people a third her age. I'm not joking, she never stops. Go, go, go. I've never heard her say she didn't want to go somewhere, no matter how far the drive, and I've never heard of her being sick or otherwise incapable of providing entirely for herself. She never asks for help.

Tonight I picked her up from the Cedar Sinai Cancer Center's outpatient infusion ward. She's gone through her second round of chemotherapy, and now spends hours almost everyday either getting more chemo, or like today, getting a "hydration." Apparently the hydration procedure puts water into the body - over a period of 4 hoours - to replace that which the chemo has burned out. So she sits in a chair with an IV attached to her arm, and the liquid slowly works it's way into her body. And, she's not the only one sitting there, certainly doesn't look the oldest, and is guaranteed to not be the youngest. Whatever it really does, it makes my grandmother feel better. But even at her best, and despite the odd fact that she looks the same to me, she is moving a whole lot slower. Some days her spirits are so low, I'm not really sure what to say to her. Tonight she was her old self again, motoring through topics of conversation like a reporter on speed.

"All my possessions for a moment of time."
Queen Elizabeth I

Clutter

2006-10-30T21:32:00.000-08:00

I cannot keep up with all the junk; it just keeps coming. My mailbox is full of junk mail and duplicate catalogs everyday - and so is my email. Work sends me home with armloads of training manuals and other propaganda, and it usually just sits in a certain spot, only to be moved to another spot, and finally someday placed in the recycle bin. As I look around this room, I see all kinds of clutter that never gets used. It just sits there, lonely, listening to the crickets outside my window.

Maybe I'll clean it up tomorrow...

Maybe, and then again....maybe not.

2006-10-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

I just took an annual Health Risk Assessment quiz on my medical insurance's website ( I get a $50 credit for doing so), and I came across a question that caused me to double-take:

Have you had a sigmoidoscopy within the last 5 years (tube inserted in rectum to check for lower intestinal problems)?

I read it, answered, and then had to read it again. The answers for this particular question were: a.) Yes, b.) No, and c.) Don't Know. Uh....don't know? That's really an option? I'd love to meet some of the respondents from group C. "So, you're not sure if you had a tube inserted into your ass in the last five years, eh?

Well....what now?

2006-10-24T21:01:00.000-07:00

Some quick updates, as I've been lagging....

I came to a 4 way stop almost at the same time with another vehicle on 10/12/06. As a tie, I waved the other car through the intersection. Then I proceeded, and the car behind the car I waved through, rammed me from the right side.
Close to mid-term elections, the White House and the Iraqi gov't have somehow been able to at least publicize vague notions of a timetable for an American troop withdrawal from Iraq. Coincidence?
Stock Market continues to defy all notions of sanity. I think Q1 2007 is a brand new story.
Finished reading "Flyboys," and I am now reading " The Kite Runner."

One Day, A While Back...

2006-10-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

...I found myself down in Venice Beach, on a school day, during school hours, with 3 friends. We made our way to the boardwalk, as seniors, not in charge of a phantom entitlement, but a self-indulged right to our time.

I was 17 then, so I don't recall too many of the details. I do remember the car that took us there; I do remember that Venice was almost entirely empty; and I do remember meeting a guy who wanted to sing to us for tips - I suppose.

The first, and only, song this guy sang to us on his broken down guitar.....escaped me for a few bars. It seemed familiar, and yet I just couldn't put my finger to it. And then I got it! Though still innocent to it's lyrics, it was a Bob Dylan. And then, out of my delirium, clearly it was that classic about homelessness.

Here was this this guy, apparently down on his luck on a relatively warm southern California winter's day in Venice Beach, singing to a few middle-class boys from Woodland Hills about the perils of being.....well, down on your luck.

Why did it have to be that song? Why not something romantic and gentle? I remember realizing what he was singing about, and then having to leave the scene immediately. And then I remember being out on Santa Monica Pier, and then I remember being back home, in a bean bag in my room, wondering why I was so happy and content from this day?

Trust me, it wasn't from the song. That song has stuck with me for almost 20 years....

Spermbank

2006-10-16T21:56:00.000-07:00

From the comments section of a few posts ago, asking about ethically dubious acts, an anonymous person added the simple, and yet ardent one word response: "spermbank."

It goes without saying that the word is just funny. Ha ha, giggle, giggle. But let's put down our firecrackers and not superglue our friends hand to his crotch while he's sleeping. Is a spermbank an ethically dubious place to get money? I never really thought about going to one at all, much less to get money, and then how often?? Good questions that never crossed my mind.

How much does a spermbank pay anyway?

Also, I just found out by Googling 'spermbank,' that it's two words. Sperm bank. I like my way better though...

I did find Sperm Bank of California, but did not find Sperm Bank of America, nor Balls Fargo, or Washington Manual.

My Golf Swing

2006-10-16T21:44:00.000-07:00

I come from the outside in, taking a divot that moves towards me and produces a ball flight that moves from left to right, or 'fades' at best, and in full panic perfectly demonstrates a 'slice.' And as well as I have mastered the English language (through the Junior High level), I have never really understood what it meant when golf instructors said that someone's hands were outpacing their swing, or more importantly the clubhead.

But last week it hit me, as squarely as that time a bird diarrhea'd on my head. And it was immediately so simple! Alas, I was not in a position to test out my new understanding as I was meditating in the lavatory.....but I will get out there soon. And then we'll see who's Tiger, and who's not.

iTunes

2006-10-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday night, and the wife is out of town, boogying to the sounds of electric love at her cousin's wedding somewhere down the peninsula from San francisco. And so I'm sitting here savoring the bliss of my devirginization of downloading music from iTunes. On my last birthday, one of the sisters gave me a gift card to iTunes, and I'm just getting around to using it. Within minutes.........I'm addicted, and so I must say - what a great gift.

So far I've downloaded The B-52's first album, The Best of the Talking Heads, and Beck's Mellow Gold. I wish iTunes was free. Or maybe I don't, now that I think about it. I might never leave the computer. And of course I probably don't need to mention that I have downloaded music before, and come to think of it, the process may have swerved wide of any cash transaction, and that never led to any sort of addiction. So, whatever.

In other news, I was in an accident on Thurs. afternoon and the woman who broadsided me is claiming that it wasn't her fault b/c it was her turn to proceed through the four-way stop. When I asked her how it was possible that it was her turn when I arrived perpendicular to her lane of traffic at the same time as the car in front of her, she reiterated that it was her turn to go. Yep, I can smell the cool times ahead, can't you?

Update - just purchased Orlando 'Cachaito' Lopez' phenonemonal album, aptly titled "Cachaito," so now I only have $9.21 left at iTunes. On a brighter note, Steve Jobs can still buy anything in the world that his little heart desires. I heart Steve.

Ethics Question

2006-10-10T21:22:00.000-07:00

From a money blog (Make Love, Not Debt) I check in on from time to time:

" What is the most ethically dubious thing you've ever done to either save a buck, or gain more money?"

Be anonymous if you have to, but try to be honest. Any good stories?

There's Gold in Them Thar Hills

2006-10-02T21:16:00.000-07:00

On my way back from Surf Fest XII this past Sunday morning, somewhere just north of Oceanside, I saw a girl picking her nose. Okay, sounds innocent enough, but let's dissect this a bit.

I was in the second lane from the right side of the highway, and she was in the lane just to my left. Her car and my car seemed to be going about the same rate of speed, with my hood about even with her front seat car doors. As I glanced over to look into the car, I see this young, pretty blonde with her right index finger in her left nostril. Since I was behind her a bit, I didn't need to pretend that I didn't see it. I just kept staring. We all have our little picks, our pretend "scratches" that when we feel we have the green light become quick (read: no more than .8 seconds) probes for lodged irratations of dried mucus. But this was different. She just kept going. Going like those old men who just don't give a damn. In fact, upon looking more closely, I realized that she was up to her second knuckle. Second knuckle!! Ponder that.

But now I feel bad. Maybe she wasn't picking her nose at all. Maybe her contact lens slipped back behind her eyeball and she was merely retrieving it through her nasal cavity? Or maybe she'd detached her retinal nerve the night before while engaging the pit of Red Square in TJ during "Surfin' Bird," and was just now attempting to reattach it? The point is, it's none of my business why she's going 75 m.p.h. on the northbound lane of Interstate 5, just outside of Camp Pendleton with one of her fingers so far up her nose it appears she's scraching her Occipital Lobe. None of my business whatsover.

Welcome Back Kotter

2006-09-28T17:03:00.000-07:00

Okay.......so it's been a little while, and it looks like I've got a little bit of housekeeping to take care of. Quick aside, is it really all that bad to end sentences with prepositions? Please, let your thoughts be known. Otherwise, without further ado:

Marin - please turn in your Friends of San Diego card. I can't believe you're not backing the Pads!? It's not about being right, it's about our illustrious town. Remember the fever of the NLCS when they busted through the impenetrable? Only to be swept by the horrible Yankees? (Yankees: I'll never be impressed by a team who just buys the best players with a wallet that dwarfs the second most expensive team in the league.)
Liquid Spirit - great to see you in the comments section. Now resurrect your blog from the ashes so we can retire off your ad revenue.
I'm back from the Santos wedding in Maui. I thought I would blog about the trip, but I think I'll put that off just a bit longer....
Surf Fest XII is tomorrow, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (Monday? Ball.). Surf is flat and I have no costume........nothing new there.
Had my 36th birthday. Had a blast, bought a new Taylor Made r7 driver, and got a $50 gift card to iTunes. Send in your suggestions for must have albums.

I just spell checked this entry, and the spell checker had a problem with the word "blog." Huh?

Aramis Ramirez

2006-09-14T14:22:00.000-07:00

What's that? I can't hear you.....I think Aramis just blasted one into the seats at Wrigley off my favorite run-producer, ex-Giant B. Tomko. Anyhow, that puts our powerful Padres .5 games back of the NL West leading Dodgers. Tomorrow night it's Fat Man v. Maddux, and I'll be there!

Inexcusable

2006-09-13T21:42:00.000-07:00

Unless I'm in the 'boys' room at a Junior High School, I really shouldn't ever go into a stall and look down at the toilet to find some guy's warm piss all over the seat. But it happens more than you'd think. Why is this?

I think we all, at one time or another (and then this marks the last time), have tried to thread the needle of the toilet seat with our urine laser. Still, what's the real payoff here anyway? If you should happen to not splatter your liquid waste all over the seat, yippee! You're just where you'd have been had you lifted the seat. And of course, we all know that it's actually impossible to not get some part of the stream on the seat. Ever stood next to a waterfall? Case closed.

But let's get back to where this post started: I all-to-often walk into a men's stall to.....well, um...you know (read: drop a deuce), and the toilet seat is down and there is piss all over it. Not to scold or reprimand; not to harangue or otherwise accost the previous visitor, I just want to see who this guy is. I mean, who is he? Really?

Why, first of all, is he peeing standing up in the sit-down crapper? For this example, I am excluding any restroom where this is the only choice, or has limited standing urinals. So why is he afraid to stand with the other boys, and just take care of his business. As an aside, I am always amused by the guys who basically shove their parts into and up against the inside of the urinal, so that no one can see them (because in secret, we are all in there to see each other's dodes).

Moving on, if a man wants to pee standing up in his own personal box, with the door locked, so be it. Why can't he lift the seat though. Kick it up with your shoe if you're a germaphobe whose neuroses drive you to believe that you're actually avoiding germs by not touching the seat. And then leave it up if you want. I don't care. I just don't like having to wipe up another man's piss. Call me crazy, I've just never been into it.

Laterz....

2006-09-05T19:14:00.000-07:00

Well, it's almost time. Time to board a jet plane bound for the middle of the Pacific. Time to wander around the tippy-top of an underwater mountain, and just look around for my next place to nap. Time to unwind. Time to play a little golf. Time to get away from work, the phone, the beat up alley, the crazy drivers of LA, (I just realized that the list of LA negatives is long and cliche), so I guess I'll just end it with: time for a litte "ME time."

To all my co-workers - it's been nice knowing you.
To my friends and family back in the States - come visit or else I guess I'll see you at Christmas.

The Shack

2006-09-03T09:25:00.000-07:00

Radio Shack has always been a pretty spooky store for me. Anytime I've been in there, I'm immediately hit with the thought: "How do they stay in business?" Unless you need something random, they're prices aren't good. Anyhow, I caught this headline and it didn't do much for improving my perception.

Jailbird

2006-08-29T17:27:00.000-07:00

If this guy goes to prison, are others going to play nice with him? I'd actually like to hear him justify his appearance on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list in relation to his being a prophet of God. I understand he was pulled over in a Red Cadillac Escalade filled with cellphones, laptops, 3 wigs, over $50k in cash, and other 'on-the-run' paraphenalia. Kinda sounds like he was working overtime...doesn't he know that all prophets are allowed one 30 minute and two fifteen minutes breaks per 8 hour shift?

Underpaid?

2006-08-29T17:19:00.000-07:00

This year, Tiger Woods is averaging $2,512 for every stroke of a golf ball.

Bells, and even Bigger Bells

2006-08-29T16:51:00.000-07:00

I just walked through the alley on my way to the closest, and trustiest Postal box. In my hands, a check to the company that financed my Civic. Why are you so nosy?

Anyhow, in one of the garages in the alley was a guy working out. When I first walked by and looked inside b/c I'm even nosier than you, he was down doing push-ups with workout gloves on. I first noticed the black leather workout gloves, nice touch. But then I realized this guy was, in essence, cranking out push-ups in public!

And I thought to myself: "Bells."

I can't workout like that. People just start coming up to me with stuff like, "wow, what's your technique to get so chiseled and ripped?" I mean, I'll share the wealth of my advice with those less fortunate, but give a guy some privacy to get yoked, won't you!

Recent Brain Killing

2006-08-28T20:21:00.000-07:00

Just finished Season 1 of "Huff," and I'm totally addicted.
Still contemplating finishing Season 1 of "24." Initially it sucked me right in, and then I realized I was watching "Knight Rider, MacGyver, Airwolf, A Team"-ish programming.
Just about to take my hot tea and start Season 1 of the English version of "The Office."
This past weekend I watched "Girl in the Cafe." I recommend, not highly, but not lowly.
Just checked in on the Friars, and in typical SD fashion, they're tanking.

Unrelated to brain killing, why do some people admit to crimes they didn't commit. When I was a child, I vehemently denied things that I obviously did.

I Can't Stands No More!

2006-08-23T11:21:00.000-07:00

This headline makes me want to vomit. Who rips off Grandma!?? Grandma makes cookies and let's you get away with shit your parents won't; so we're not supposed to go ripping her off in her old age. Understood?

Harumph!

2006-08-16T19:02:00.000-07:00

Is Big Government to blame....?

Mr. Positive

2006-08-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

Not that I want to post too many cynical, depressing, news/political posts, but I must follow-up on the Hezbollah-Israel ceasefire.

Is this really supposed to work?
The Lebanese army is going to contain Hezbollah, even though they couldn't before and that is why Israel went in in the first place?
The UN is going to do what? I mean, in addition to what they're always able to accomplish.
Iran and Syria are just going to accept disarmament of their up-and-coming punk fighter?

We'll see...

I really would like to hear some rational....or really any argument which supports Iran's stance against Israel. For the sake of argument, lets assume the state of Israel was a mistake and not right. Well, that was over 50 years ago and you can't just expect a whole nation of people to get up and go. Can you? Assuming this insane proposition would fly, where would they go?

Insanity

2006-08-15T20:55:00.000-07:00

Hezbollah/Iran/Syria claim victory; as does GW and Israel. But who really paid the price over the last 5 weeks? Innocent people, victims to being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think I read that most of the dead and injured are not just civilians, but children.

At least the President of Iran is now blogging. I'm not linking to him though, because the thought of him getting even $.80 from Goggle Ads is just wrong.

My favorite quote from President Mahmoud:
"God's promises have come true," Ahmadinejad told a huge crowd in Arbadil in northwestern Iran. "On one side, its corrupt powers of the criminal US and Britain and the Zionists .... with modern bombs and planes. And on the other side is a group of pious youth relying on God."

The monotheistic religions usually claim their God to be omnipotent, omniscient, and many other really impressive sounding omni's. If the 'pious youth' are 'relying on God,' well then they're in pretty good shape as God can make or break anyone's day. I guess you've just got to put your eggs in the right basket though, and not pick the wrong God.

"Only the dead have seen an end to war."
--Plato

Scotty's Back

2006-08-10T21:35:00.000-07:00

Isn't that a semi-famous black diamond run in Mammoth? I wouldn't know, I haven't skiied for years. At any rate, it seems our most recent, most popular, and with little doubt our most lovable newlywed is back on the scene. I still haven't received my 'thank you' note for the wedding gift, but I suppose it's customary to send that after said gift has been received. Soon, SAB, soon.

Today we had a crazy work meeting in Huntington Beach. Not at the local HoJo or some other related venue, we had it directly on the boardwalk somewhere in between the HB pier and Bolsa Chica. In fact, we had it directly adjacent to Zack's. We had to enroll in two 'mandatory fun' events; I selected the Frisbee toss, and Volleyball. In the Frisbee toss, my two-man team made it to the finals. There were 2 sections. The first was like an egg toss. My partner, who I didn't know, very confidently asked upon meeting me if I could throw a frisbee? I meekly responded "sure." Aparently I should have been asking him. We lost in the final stages when one of his throws went straight into the sand somewhere about halfway to me, kind of like a Bermuda Triangle flight I guess.

Volleyball was pure domination, and 12 people all wanting to talk shit really badly but having no skills to back it up. We ended up borrowing a real volleyball from some 12 year old girls, to replace the peice of shit we were playing with, but the game didn't seem to reflect the upgrade. In the end I was awarded two (2) coolies, which someone told me I was pronouncing wrong as it was actually a "coozie (sp?)." Unfortunately, I don't care if the the rest of the Universe calls it a "coozie," I'm calling it a "coolie." It keeps your beverage cool, not cooz.

Hot Dogs and Beer

2006-08-09T20:46:00.000-07:00

In his home opener for the Dodgers, future HOF'er Greg Maddux received a no decision as he was pulled before the Dodgers could take the lead. I will say that he was hit, and the Rockies put themselves in situations to score runs, but that guy is unflappable. His presence is pretty entertaining to watch. He's listed at 6'0 and 180 lbs., and so for professional sports, though certainly not small, he is not big. And still he just doesn't back down from batters. Not that I saw it last night, but I have seen him on TV hit very large men with a pitch (large men holding wood bats that is), and when the missing link of a man gives him the look that makes most pitchers avoid eye contact, he just looks back like "well, I'm right here."

Current World Series prediction: San Deigo Padres in 6 games

Never Never Land

2006-08-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

You think you're ready for this; but I assert here and now that you are not....

Putting things away

2006-08-07T18:59:00.000-07:00

It dawned on me this afternoon, that it is not exactly as easy as is sometimes alluded to, to "put things away," when one is not entirely sure where they go. To add even more difficulty, often things to be "put away" almost seem like they belong in a dumpster.

Parking Fees

2006-08-06T17:48:00.000-07:00

Something funny happened yesterday, something quite unexpected. I lost another parking lot ticket (this one at the public lot in Pasadena) and was requested to pay the max. For the 2 of you who may remember my botheration with the Grove parking facility earlier this year (and for the 1 new reader who doesn't, it cost me $19 to get out of the garage), yesterday's mishap only ran me $6. That's right, the maximum rate was, and still is, 6 American dollars. Now that's a deal anyday of the week, as I'd probably hit the max anyhow for being there 5 hours.

So the Grove ban is still active....they're going to pay I tell you, it's a fact!

Construction Update
Check it out.....they're pouring cement through this gigantic antennae into the square holes they dug:

Wearing Some Dipes, Blowin' Up a Floatie

2006-08-01T22:54:00.000-07:00

I might trade the floatie out for a cold one, but wouldn't this be a nice way to go about your day? Everyday?

Is 'cold one' universal? I know the movie Vacation has been watched by at least every person on the planet born before 1980, so if I come out of a steamy South Asian tropical rainforest and head straight into the first establishment serving alcoholic refreshments, can I obtain an ice cold 24 oz. can of Schlitz with a simple "Hey Slim, gimme a cold one, would ya?"

Outage, brah.

2006-07-31T21:05:00.000-07:00

Clipstone Street was shut down by the man.
Clipstone Street was pissed, and was out for revenge.
Clipstone Street was gonna show the man....
And then CS couldn't do nuttin' but 'cept the reality that it's hard living independent of the man.

.....Or the DSL was on the fritz. It started acting funny about a month ago. I'd come in to sit down at the computer, and the DSL would be over in the corner sweating bullets and trying to do it's best Robin Williams impersonation (from the good years, aka Mork and Mindy era). I struggled through it; resetting the modem every 8 minutes, continually rebooting the computer, etc. Finally.......just silence.

So it was the modem. Dead at age 2. What a waste. That modem showed so much promise. I had it's room decorated with Ivy League College memorabilia and posters of current sport stars not under grand jury indictments and/or drug/prostitute/DUI/business scandal allegations. And it's dead. Well, out with the old and in with the new.

I've also started putting all my music into iTunes. Not really sure why, just riding this wave of freedom, man. Know what I mean? Also realized I was telling people that I weighed 180 lbs., when in actuality I have crept to 190. To be honest, 190 would be cool if I was thicker, alas I am not. But I'm not dieting, I'm just going to start eating healthier for the health of it. Did that sound dirty?

The new mode is water, water, water, less dairy, less meat, less processed food, more fruit and vegetables, a teeny, tiny bit less alcohol.

Sweltering Entertainment

2006-07-22T18:01:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to Thom Yorke's latest solo release. So far, so good. Also loaded my new Jimmy Luxury purchase into the CD-RW drive on my computer to listen to whilst I hide from the abominable heat in the near blackness of the office with the ceiling fan on high....and of course my computer doesn't want to recognize the drive (a small problem I've been having for about 3 weeks now).

"No problem," I thought to myself, "I'll take it out and pop it in the DVD-ROM drive"...........except the computer very shrewdly will on no condition actually open a drive that doesn't exist. Duh! So the CD is stuck inside.

This afternoon we rented "King Kong," "Shop Girl," and "Syriana." I'll post some mini-reviews later. Earlier this afternoon, the wife and I tortured ourselves through "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil." Good movie, but waaaaaay too long in a hot, stuffy apartment. We took turns standing directly in front of the fan to cool off, and we both took cold showers immediately after it was over.

Last weekend we watched "Match Point," "Gummo," and "Pride and Prejudice." MP was better than I thought it would be, but certainly not very Allen-esque. Gummo was just weird, and I didn't understand any of it. The imagery and music of a few scenes was really cool, but other than that I was unsatisfied. P & P....you gotta hand it to Eyre, she's a funny girl.

Great Quote, Boring Story

2006-07-20T17:50:00.000-07:00

Talk about being ill-prepared v. Defense lawyer histrionics.

"They don't even have enough to indict a ham sandwich, much less Barry Bonds," said the slugger's lawyer, Michael Rains.

I mean, I've seen quite a few ham sandwiches in my day, even eaten a couple, but I don't really remember ever seeing one defend itself. So if they don't even have enough to indict a ham sandwich, then I guess they don't really have much, now do they? Or....maybe this attorney has been listening to too many of those stupid Taco Bell commercials. You know, they ones where a Crispy Gordita Supreme tries to board a flight or some such nonsense.

Here it comes....quietly, but surely...

2006-07-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

The market's up, the market's down. Who are we kidding? Moderate inflation is good, recessions are a necessary part of the cycle. But what we are seeing is more than moderate inflation. Wages are stagnant, the rich are getting richer, the poor....well, can't really get any poorer, so they're still...poor, but you get my point. I just can't grasp why the USA is in such enormous debt? How is that good?

Another day, more death....

2006-07-19T20:58:00.000-07:00

From what little I've read, the animosity between the Jews and the Arabs is pretty old. I think the feud goes back to, like, Jesus times....or something.

Construction Update

2006-07-16T14:04:00.000-07:00

Click on the pic if it's hard to see, but the hole in the ground where I suppose the parking garage will go is now complete. This hole in the Earth represents where 4 separate apartments buildings used to be. The old housings didn't extend down into the dirt though, this is the handiwork of gigantic diesel powered shovels and many large trucks hauling away the dirt. The hole is now smoothed out and is about 10 feet deep. This process seems to have taken about 2-3 weeks.

I took this shot to illustrate how close to the construction some people are. These poor folks must be hating life right now. I know a lot of them don't work 9-5, so this new schedule of machine and crashing metal must hurt like the unwanted and most unwelcomed hangover.

Saturday Heat

2006-07-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

It's 8:31 a.m. and it's just plain hot in the apartment. But you know my resolve is stronger than steel, and so I'm still enjoying a nice, hot cup of morning coffee.

We've been gone the past 4 or 5 weekends, so I'm now just learning something somewhat dreadful that my neighbors most certainly are already aware of: the construction crew comes on the weekend too. For some reason I thought they only came Monday through Friday; I thought they only tortured everyone next to the development site on the weekdays, and that doesn't affect me as I have to drive off to be tortured by my employer on those days.

The section of Los Angeles that I live in features mostly older apartments, most likely from the 40's. Across the alley behind my apartment building, someone/some company bought 4 apartment buildings all next to each other, tore them down, and is now building something new. Will it be creative and great? Most likely not, and most likely some chic new condos. What a waste.

So right now the bulldozers are going full steam. It's pretty amazing really, I wish I could record it and put up an audio link.

Leche de Starbuck

2006-07-14T14:42:00.000-07:00

We ran out of milk on Tuesday. Today is Friday. I don't really miss, or need milk, except in this very small physical amount, which in turn is a very large psychological amount: I need a splash for my morning coffee. Here at Clipstone St. HQ we like to brew our own coffee. The wife likes it black, but I like mine with milk. So on Wednesday, with no milk in the fridge, the wife was not really taken off course. I on the other hand was.

So today marks the 3rd morning in a row that I have taken my coffee in my mug, and stopped at Starbucks to use a little of their milk.

What's with people who don't like Starbucks? They're always there for me. Always. And sometimes, twice in one block. Still waiting for the grand opening of the Starbucks that is inside of another Starbucks.

The Playboy Mansion

2006-07-13T16:45:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I've been there. It's no big deal really. Sure, I saw Hef - and he was wearing pajamas. I saw the pool, went inside the Grotto, took a picture of myself w/ Rick of Tonic Bar laying on our backs on a bed looking directly into the mirrored ceiling.

We were with a group of dudes and we had 3 Playmates escorting us around, answering questions, trying not be too obvious about how bored they were. We had hors d'euvres and cocktails. Bill Maher was there with two more-than-likely hookers, who each had at least 6 inches of height on him.

We were asked not to actually get into the pool, but of course some jackass dove in, and swam about looking for attention. I think he received a few seconds of a non-descript stare from everyone in attendance, and then everyone moved their attention back to their conversations. All except me of course. I was in awe of his lack of self-consciousness, or general stupidity. I was also worried that I'd never be invited back. And you know what..........?

40 Year Old Virgin

2006-07-11T21:15:00.000-07:00

I almost made it that far....only to be stricken down by a woman's charms....

Gimme Some Bonbons, Some JuJu Fruits....

2006-07-10T20:59:00.000-07:00

Currently reading "Don't Know Much About History," by Kenneth C. Davis. I'm only 32 pages into this one, but I'm realizing that when I have nothing to blog about, I can cooly steal someone else's writing.....ha.

Tonight I found this passage funny:

"After a twenty-five-day trek through the dense rain forests of Central America, Vasco Nunez de Balboa crosses the Isthmus of Panama and sights the Pacific Ocean for the first time. He names it Mar del Sur (Southern Sea) and believes it to be part of the Indian Ocean. Political rivals later accuse Balboa of treason, and he is beheaded in a public square along with four of his followers. Their remains are thrown to the vultures."

What is funny about that, you ask? Well, the part about the vultures made me laugh first. It's not enough to behead them, and to behead them in public with all the crazy, smelly ignoramuses throwing rotting fruit and spitting on you while most certainly shouting all sorts of profanity. Nope, they could do better. They took the lifeless, and newly headless bodies and flung them to the vultures. Medeiveal people were cool.

Secondly though, I wondered if Rocky Balboa was descended from Vasco. And if so, was he aware of this travesty and mockery of his blood? Further, would these people have gotten away with trying to behead Rocko? Comments welcome as always....

Ken Lay, Enron, and TSGitR

2006-07-05T14:55:00.000-07:00

So I finish TSGitR, and what happens next? Ken Lay dies of a reported heart attack. Wow. Spooky, huh?

I'm definitely on the side of all the ex-Enron employees, and then anyone else who experienced loss due to investing in the company, but I do feel bad for Ken (a little). Here is this man who works his whole life, then sets the auto-pilot to 'cruise control' to live out the rest of his days on this Earth as some sort of business legend, with millions of dollars in his pocket. Then he becomes the public face of the second-largest, yet possibly most well-known bankruptcy in history. Then he is indicted and convicted of all kinds of felony crimes. And then he dies of an alleged heart attack. Talk about going out in poor fashion. And from reading the book, I don't think it was intentional. And so I think during the aftermath, and right up until his final moments, I think he must have felt a million times worse than all of my moments of despair and self-loathing put together. I wouldn't consider trading my life for his, even for a split second.

All those guys -- minus Cliff Baxter (who killed himself) -- that will serve time, will someday get out and have all this cash. But what's it all for? If I was Andy or Lea Fastow, I would have trouble making eye contact with anyone ever again.

I found this on his personal website:

Most of all, my family and I believe that God is in control and, indeed, He does work all things for good for those who love the Lord. And we love our Lord.

I guess God decided it was time for Kenny-boy to come home...

Happy Fourth!

2006-07-04T16:23:00.000-07:00

I really didn't want to say anything, but 3 road trips in the last 6 weeks, and I can't hold it in any longer.

On the highway, the left lanes are for faster moving traffic. The right lanes are for slower moving traffic.

Anyhow, I'm back from Phoenix. It was 115 degrees on the Fahrenheit scale. I had a few drinks, a few cigars in the pool, and.....the really big news...........I finished The Smartest Guys in the Room. Now I can finally rent the movie.

What am I missing here?

2006-06-30T17:18:00.000-07:00

What is the deal with jihad anyway? I think I understand that all religions contain members that want so badly to impress and gain favor with their god, but how does "let's kill the infidels" get started? Or rather, I can understand how it gets started, but how does it maintain inertia? And this question is older than the region that provokes this particular feud, but what is so holy about holy land. I'm just a dummy living in Babylon, but shouldn't The Kingdom of any religion lie in the hearts and souls of the people?

I feel inhuman when I read about most tragedies - the one exclusion being the time I farted on Ruggies' head at the exact moment that Shamlou hit a home run off him in Nintendo baseball - but I just don't get this fight. If you can't beat them, join them. Work together for the betterment and enrichment of everyone's life. Don't just pretend so you can try and sneak up on them later, in the name of your god.

Debt, and a light bulb?

2006-06-29T20:37:00.000-07:00

I pay all my bills once a month, and it's usually between my monthly paydate of the 26th and the 1st of the next month. Today being the 29th, I recently just paid all my bills. Mind you, I did not pay them off, just paid as much as I could. For the sake of perspective, my debt load was ginormous 9 months ago. The wife and I decided to attack the debt in a most vicious manner, and to date we have paid about half of it off. The beauty lies in the reality that the interest is starting to really wane (in the beginning the interest was more than anyone really wants to know about).

Of course the next day I received my 30 days notice from the landlord that she can raise our rent 4%, and so......she is raising it 4%. Too bad I don't have this guy as my negotiator.

This just in: If you really need to, you can always just stick with your explanation, however improbable and crazy it just might sound.

Yin, Yang, and no Mang?

2006-06-28T20:58:00.000-07:00

Not that I thought they'd all just get along, but shit!!!!!

On a much more beautiful note, just got back from the SCOJA nuptials. When he said "Mammoth," I never in my wildes fantasies thought he meant on the top of Cornice!!! Awesome ceremony, awesome location, awesome persons in attendance, spectacular weekend...........I'm not really sure how one would top this one. Kudos, and Mazaltov!

True love, and truly beautiful

Babies

2006-06-22T17:32:00.000-07:00

Clipstone Street doesn't normally acknowledge that part of the continual ying and yang of life known as "new babies." Nevertheless, C.S. means no disrespect, we like babies. Babies are cool, and these new babies will probably understand the world better than us by age 11, so really it's in our self-interest to like them.

Anyhow, a much belated "Welcome!" is long overdue. Sorry babies, you don't know it yet, but C.S. houses some of the world's most notorious slackers.

*mini-shout to the new babies mothers. Unfortunately this has to be a mini-shout out b/c we all know what happens when you give a woman an inch....

Sports

2006-06-21T06:17:00.000-07:00

The Miami Heat won their first NBA Championship, and I'm sure it was much to the lament of LA Laker (Kobe) fans. I liked seeing Dwayne Wade and Udonis Haslem achieve their goal, a bit indifferent about Shaq, and then felt that it was just downright unjust that Gary Payton gets a ring. I just don't like that guy. I loved seeing a pass to him bounce off his shoulder because he was too busy crying to a ref and not paying attention to the game that he happened to be dead smack in the middle of.

Lefty left the US Open Championship on the 18th hole of Winged Foot. I don't really like Lefty either, so I'm happy for Ogilvy. I'm starting to like Phil, a little, but I still think he plays to his image too much. He's got that "ah, shucks" attitude, but I've read that this is just an act and that many on tour are not too fond of him. Additionally, I have a friend that went to High School with him. Same grade even. And about 8 years ago, he saw Phil out at a bar and went up to just say "hello." My friend told me that Phil completely rebuffed him and when my friend told him that they graduated from the same class in High School, Phil's response was something to the tune of "So?," or "What does that mean to me?" Sure, maybe he was having a bad day, and I know I'd never want to be that recognizable [no privacy], but a simple handshake for a fellow alum doesn't seem like to much to ask.

I'm going to the Dodgers/Mariners games tonight. Field level seats and all. First game of the year, and first game in the $20M new stadium seats. So you can bet that my ass is ready! My new health plan has finally launched though, so no Dodger dogs and I'm debating about no beers. No beers!!? We'll see. I almost feel like a traitor saying this, but Dodger dogs just aren't that good. Maybe for the sake of this blog, and Dodger dog's reputation, I have to "sample" just one tonight. I'll post my findings here later.

Happy Father's Day

2006-06-18T11:28:00.000-07:00

Special shout out to all the father's everywhere, especially you new dad's....

I Told Her Not To Do It

2006-06-15T20:30:00.000-07:00

I tole her not to do it, but my woman went and stold herself a baby....

Just kidding. Not about this being a baby, he actually is a baby. Or was a baby. This baby was rented from some friends for the weekend. Pretty good deal too. I think the arrangement was 2 Super-the-Call Blasters, Chips Con Todo, a can of Kodiak, a fody of Mickey's, and a future promise that we'd move back to San Diego eventually. I got the better end of the bargain as M undoubtedly got the lion share of the Malt Liquor and dipper. She always did, and that's how I knew she was a keeper.

Give it to me

2006-06-12T21:20:00.000-07:00

Just read through some of the comments from the last post from a great blog that used to exist. Maybe you've heard of it? Crackpod? Anyhow, back in the day it used to be this really cutting edge blog. Great ideas. And then it just died.

But Krypt'cal was in the comments....and where is he now?

Universal Studios

2006-06-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

Recently we had a group event for work at Universal Studios. My initial response to this was somewhere in between wanting to call in sick for the event and/or developing a raging case of poison oak in my anus. But for those of you who know me, and have witnessed my reaction to poison oak and other nefarious invaders, I'm sure you realize I wasn't really pulling for the latter.

But Universal Studios?? Come on! I used to go there when I was 10, and shit. I was too cool for U.S. then, and I'm certainly too cool now. But if it's a work day, and I don't have to do any work, then I can be easily persuaded.

We hit the tram ride up first, and I was thoroughly, and I don't want to underemphasize this so excuse the caps, I WAS THOROUGHLY UNIMPRESSED. Don't get me wrong here. If you're not from around here, and you came to L.A. and you want to see some movie and T.V. stuff, then the tram ride is probably pretty cool. I, on the other side of the wagon wheel don't really care. Until the Jaws part of course. Actually, I remember it being pretty cool in 1978, and now it's pretty........lame.

This is a pic of Jaws going by:

But the day started to get interesting when I ran into one of my all-time favorite movie characters.......Beetlejuice. It just doesn't get any better, and if you think it does, you had best go rent Beetlejuice and try that again.

Beetlejuice. Love that guy! So the day wasn't so bad. So what if I thought the highlight would be finding some warm churros from a cart vendor? I didn't even get any churros the whole day! If you can believe that......
Highlight was definitely the "Waterworld" show. Water, jet ski's [how do you really spell the plural of Jet Ski?], fake violence, real clowns, park goers getting doused with water, fiery explosions, poor dialogue. I'm in. I was rooting for the good guys, and I think we won! Not really sure what happened. I do know that I saw the show launch a real Cesna airplane from behind the set and it landed in the water part of the show. I think I was the most stoked person in the audience, or 'they' were holding in their enthusiasm. Bastards.

Yep, this guy is on fire:

More of the fun:

How's this guy get his hair so perfect?

The People v. Skiletsrage

2006-06-11T18:40:00.000-07:00

Hangman, hangman, hold it a little while, I Think I see my friends coming, Riding many mile. Friends, you get some silver? Did you get a little gold? What did you bring me, my dear friends? Keep me from the Gallows Pole. What did you bring me to keep me from the Gallows Pole?

Well, let's just say it's the People: 1, Skiletsrage: 0. I had a traffic court date last week, and though my case had been heard via mail, and I was found guilty, I had one more chance to be heard. My defense: well, I was really pinning it all on a dismissal. After watching every case go down in flames, I decided I was going with Plan B. I was going to change my plea from "Not Guilty" to "No Contest," and I was going to request traffic school.

Some highlights from court:

A guy who claimed to be a driving instructor told the court that a fire engine was behind him and the only way he could yield was to make a right hand turn through an intersection, and that intersection happened to have a red light. So we (the court) watched the video tape. And........that's funny. No fire engine came through the intersection. Plenty of other traffic seemed to go about their business, but no fire truck. Weird. Judges decision: Guilty. Request for traffic school? Denied.
An old guy looking like Colonel Sanders stopped for the red light, in the middle of the intersection and then backed up. He did this because he obeys all traffic laws, and apparently to a fault.
Another older gentleman was pleading innocent because the photo of his vehicle clearly showed that we was not in the intersection when the light turned red. Upon closer inspection, it turned out that the vehicle he was referring to was a Cadillac Escalade (that had indeed stopped for the red light), and he was actually the owner and operator of some other and much older SUV. When the plaintiff's witness pointed this out to him, he responded by saying "Oh, yeah, then I guess you're right. I did run the light."

All in all, a very enteraining few hours.

I am weary

2006-06-09T19:09:00.000-07:00

I'm on page 164 of TSGitR, and the epilogue ends on page 419.....and I'm pretty sure I'd like this story to proceed to the beginning of the end. I almost feel as though I'm part of the prosecution and I'm being prepped for the case.

And, at least so far, these guys are off the charts guilty. Not just Lay and Skilling, and Fastow, but the banks, the lawyers, the accountants. It's amazing how deep it runs. There is right and then there is wrong. There are gray areas and then there are creepy realms that scheisters live in, where it's not technically wrong, but you couldn't find a non-scheister to agree with you. These guys went well beyond any possible doubt.

TSGitR

2006-06-07T22:07:00.000-07:00

In honor of Lay and Skilling's recent convictions, I'm going to dive back into this book and finish it, damnit. I am so tempted to just rent the movie, but now I'm determined. I will give the two authors credit. The pages are quite lengthy for this type of book, and no part (yet) seems to wander, and I'm still not even halfway done. Anyhow, I'll set a goal of finishing this book by Scoja's wedding. How Crackpod would that be?

No Pain, No Gain

2006-06-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

Some days it seems so effortless to put up blog entries. They usually start as a silly thought, and then I just let it rip a little. And then other days it's considerably harder. Today is one of those days.

I don't want this to be news-filter blog, political blog, too personal of a blog (as I'm not sure how those around me feel about it, or whether or not I will regret it later), and so I'm left wondering about the blog? What's it for if I can't vent about stuff? I guess that's the last blog type on the list that I do not want the blog to become: the rant blog.

Some things I want for the future:

a.) I want a different job. Maybe this means a new employer, and maybe it doesn't, but for right now, I want a new job.
b.) I want to live in a different city. The part of LA that I live in is soooooooooo tired.
c.) I need to get in a little better shape. Ideas for exercise include hiking, surfing, anything that raises the blood pressure other than reducing the size of my arterial passageways.
d.) I really should start playing music again. I was never good, so it's not for anyone but me. But I really should; shouldn't we all? What a waste to not learn a little.
e.) Can everyone just take it down a notch? Might be me, might be the media, but it seems like violence and death are really fashionable right now.

Top thing I can think of that will not happen: Bush's proposed Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Why will politician's never give up? He can't think of a better use for our taxes? And let's pretend for a moment that Church and State are separated.....What would Jesus think? I know I'm in trouble now, but give me a break here.

Another idea: the housing market is coming down. We're also heading into a mild recession.

Jah

2006-06-01T16:53:00.000-07:00

Ricky Williams owes the Miami Dolphins $8.6M (or something like that), and he just signed a deal with a Canadian football team for a one year deal for $240k. I guess if he doesn't spend any money, and finagles a tax-exempt status, he could play for the next 35 years or so, and assuming the Dolphins don't want interest, he'll break even.

Or he could just try to sign a deal like Clemens: $22M.....for one year! What the hayride is that all about!!?? Sure, it's pro-rated since he's just coming in, but he'll still get some TWELVE Million Dollars. Nice.

Vacation FastForward for SAB

2006-05-31T18:25:00.000-07:00

Day 4: shot a 108 from the white tees at Harding, packed for Yosemite.

Day 5: woke up at 3 a.m. so I could get a jump on the possible Yosemite Valley Memorial Day Weekend traffic. Got a beautiful, and I do mean beau-ti-ful Sunrise Breakfast sandwich from Carls Jr. and a grande drip from Starbucks in Bakersfield, CA. It was 6:15 a.m., and though this may seem strange, I would be dozing off within 45 minutes, so the wife took control of the helm while I snuggled into the navigator's chair from some quality shut-eye.

By around 10 a.m. I was exiting a tunnel in the Sierra Nevadas and saw this (keep in mind I've never been to Yosemite):

So I rattled off 10 pics or so and we jumped back into the car so we could get down into the action. I remember feeling this way the first time I found a Playboy magazine....they get really good writers!

So we started driving on down the hill. We couldn't see Bridalveil falls, but the wife wanted to stop at the next restroom, so we pulled into one, and looked up:

I shot this from where I parked my car. Apparently Yosemite is for the lazy.

Quick Skiletsrage tip: don't go through life unprepared, like I do. In my haste, and excitement, I left my camera's ISO setting to 1600 for the next 300 pictures.

Ran around this spot for 30 minutes, having fun in the enormous mist that is expoding up into the air. Came out drenched, but laughing. If only the rest of my life could go that way: drenched and laughing.

Now we decided that our Yosemite Rookiness must be shed, that we would get back in the car and drive to our destination without spazzing out again. 75 seconds later I parked the car and jumped out like a 6 year old who'd been shooting liquified candy and Coke straight into his veins.

How could I not?

By noon we finally made Curry Village. Did I really just get up in Los Angeles this morning, and see all I had seen by noon? Not sure, I'll write more later....

Almost forgot about the Vacay FF:

Day 5: We hiked Vernal Falls, and attended a rehearsal dinner that evening.
Day 6: Had breakfast at the Awahnee, checked out Yosemite falls briefly, took shots of the Bride getting ready, and attended the wedding.
Day 7: Checked out Yosemite falls more closely, wandered around the the valley like some hippie, got denied from Glacier Point (closed due to traffic), and headed out to San Luis Obispo.
Day 8: Woke up and had breakfast in SLO, at one of my all-time favorite breakfast restaurants. Headed to Santa Ynez for wine-tasting.
Day 9: First day back at work. Joy.

Vacation, Day 3 (a few responses)

2006-05-25T08:10:00.000-07:00

For now, as I have a tee time I need to get to shortly, I'm going to post a few comments from Tuesday's blog entry, and respond to them.

First, Random said:

"Don't understand. Was the Korean woman just some lady who was playing in ahead of you? Or was she part of your group? And if the former, wtf!? How did she know Viper V's acrimonious nickname? You need to stop being so Krypt'c - who do you think you are, Liquido? Don't you know I depend on Clipstone St. for my daily dose of union bashing and tepid Republicanism, so I demand pellucid clarity."

Dear Random: JV and I were playing with these two Korean women. I think she picked up "JV" from hearing me refer to him that way. I'm not totally sure, but I don't remember him introducing himself as "Hi, I am the JV." Further, I totally agree that I have started to edge into Krypt'c's realm, however innocent and unintended. For that, Liquido, 1 complimentary serving of coffee and cruellers. And finally, while I do condone union bashing, what is up with the fallacious argument style of pinning me as a Republican? And Republicans as tepid? I am just not a Democrat nor a Republican, but if I had to say which party was more tired and in need of some resuscitation, well....let's just leave this one alone for a while.

And from Random again:

"...Saw the SNL skit when it originally aired. Just remember two years from now if Gore is running for Pres. that I was the first on the Machine to mention it when we were having the political debates a few months ago. I'm pretty much pulling for Gore right now, but who knows what will happen in two years. Bush will probably blow the world up - he already categorically shot down direct talks with Iran, and the Iranians clearly want them - so the presidency will be moot. Stupid.

Are Clipstone St. and the Crackpod replacing the Machine?"

Dear Random: I think the Dems are positioned to secure the Presidency (at least GW has done all that any liberal could possibly hope for, and then some), but let's not start positioning why they will be ineffective - and blaming it on the Repubs - before they even get there. As for CS and CP replacing the machine? I think the machine is in hibernation, or some sort of mourning, but it's hard to think that it could actually be replaced. Only time will tell, eh? OR....the owl of minerva spreads her wings at dusk, right? Remember that time that I told you Henry Allison kicked me out of his office hours? That was kewl.

Vacation, Day 2

2006-05-23T23:20:00.000-07:00

Today this Korean woman in her mid-60's was standing next to me on a putting surface in Pacoima, holding the flagstick as JV blasted out of a greenside bunker. Lofting gloriously through a shotgun splatter of sand, Viper V's ball went higher than it went long, and it's spin caused it to stop almost where it landed; it was truly a beautiful shot.

My Korean friend's comment: "Nice out, JV!" And she meant it! Therein lied the beauty. For 7 holes, her English was limited to "nice shot" and "pass the bourbon." But now, here as a witness, she felt comfortable enough to call my friend by his acronymous nickname. I could have kissed here right then and there....but she probably would have kicked my ass.

P.S. I shot a 107, and I was proud. I've got a few funny anecdotes about the experience if I remember tomorrow........

Vacation, Day 1

2006-05-22T16:03:00.000-07:00

Technically, I suppose it's the 3rd day of my vacation, but I'm calling it Day 1, as today is Monday and all my work friends and foes had to go in to work. Poor slobs.

This morning I slept in till 7 a.m., went straight for the coffee in my bathrobe, and sat down at my laptop to check in and see how work was going. Most things looked pretty good, and for the things that did not: I'll be back in a week. Touche!

For lunch I made a steak sandwich on grilled sourdough with cheddar cheese (from Wiscansin) and a smoothie. A little Chia forest was growing in the yogurt, so today's smoothie was just fruit and milk. Pretty tasty little beverage nonetheless. I put Vanilla Slim Fast in it....that's my trick.

Next I dashed off to take care of some urgent business. And when you have too many things to get and not enough time, where do I suggest you go? That's right.....ReXall.

Today's purchases:

Can you guess which product got first use?

A little snack to hold us over....

2006-05-21T17:56:00.000-07:00

Apparently David Wells is not a friend of "scabs." Typical Union b.s. if you ask me. If someone wants to do the work, then more power to them. Of course, that's not the gist of this article, and I think I might have to agree with what the round man is saying here.

Hmmmm....inflation? Recession? No. No way. So what if the average condo is 10 times an average salary? So what if it's now necessary to have two incomes to attain the same standard of living as one full-time income 30 years ago? I'm actually a big fan of the cost of gas going up, though. I mean, seriously, what if the rest of the world lived and acted like Americans. Then we'd really see some global warming.

Oh, and here's a fun site.

A Couple of photos

2006-05-17T20:54:00.000-07:00

Lucky Baldwins in Pasadena....on the highly recommended list:

So far, at least tied for the best course I've played.....PGA West in Indio, CA:

Easily the best swing I've seen in a while:

Back to the Grind

2006-05-15T21:13:00.000-07:00

"That blows."
-my wife in response to asking me if it was really Monday, and not Thursday. It was really Monday.

So I received this among my daily barrage of spam today:

==============================================================
SurePayroll, formerly OnlinePayroll by Wells Fargo security Alert
==============================================================

Dear [My real name omitted to keep hits to my blog at their current low levels],

We are committed to protecting you, with the latest technology to keep your details secure, and dedicated teams to monitor online activity and intercept any suspicious actions. And we do everything we can to protect our online customers, but the steps we take can be much more effective if you work with us to protect yourself.

05/16/2006 our security system detected an unsuccessfull access attempt to your online account from Ip address 81.190.253.29 that does not correspond to your current address:

[My real address (curious?) again omitted for the above stated reasons]

Please click here to confirm your current address or change it online.

If you do not confirm your address until 05/21/2006 your account will be SUSPENDED for security reasons and we will send you an Activation Code by post which you will need to renew your online payroll service access. You will receive this within seven days if your current address is not confirmed.

========================================================================

(c)2006 SurePayroll. All Rights Reserved.

So I was about to post my Social, all my financial usernames and passwords, and the true identity of Night Rider to my blog when I realized that these guys can't even spell 'unsuccessful' correctly? What is up with that? First Wells Fargo can't seem to manage their teller/customer ratio, and now they can't spell.

All kidding aside, despite their weak attempt to boost savings accounts, Wells has always done me right. I give them 2 thumbs up. Now if they really want to impress me and gain some credible propaganda on this site, they should aim for 2 enthusiastic thumbs up!

Drugs are bad, mgay?

2006-05-11T18:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, in a moment of frustration, or rather a succession of moments of frustration, I think that smoking a cigarette will be good. Now, remember, I'm a cool guy, so I'm not about to tell you that smoking ain't cool. No, I enjoy a cig or twelve - well, the days of smoking 12 are long gone actually - when I've had a couple of cocktails, other people are lighting up, and the stars align just right. But when I'm sober? I take one drag and my skin turns green, just like it did when I first sampled a fine Camel tobacco product at age 12 in Baja Mexico. Ahhhh....those were sweet times........

I had smuggled 3 cigarettes in a carefully packaged Ziplock baggie down across the border. To shake the trail of desperados and various native Federal agents [read: federales], and the non-stop circumspective parental unit, not to mention the failsafe watchdog grandparents, I took great precaution to hide the smell of said "joy device." Once in Mexico safely, I was still far from safe. Only a novice would succumb to such naivete; I still had to get these little guys from my bag to my lips, apply a flame and inhale to enjoy the goodness. What's a 12 year old boy to do?

Me, my brother, and my best friend took the contraband (some call this "running") down to the beach, headed due north at least 100 yards (because this was soooo far away from the parents), and then hid amongst the gigantic rock reefs that lay barren from the low tide. Here is where we partook. Here is where we were Men. Here is not where our parents told us what to wear; our teachers told us what was good, and maybe what was bad; here is where I smoked a cigarette even though I hated it. But I remember that it was almost dark, it was warm but we had to wear pants and long sleeves, and we huddled in our new Mexican hideout and thoroughly enjoyed our freedom. I remember smoking and laughing about 'who knows what,' and I clearly remember thinking that 'this was so great!!'

Today at work I couldn't remember my password to resubmit my expense report that I submitted - incorrectly - 3 days ago.

Coffee & Cruellers, Part III?

2006-05-10T22:18:00.000-07:00

This is a simple point and shoot picture from the campgrounds at San Elijo, CA. I spent 10 years living in San Diego, almost all of that time within a few miles of th ocean. Will someone please help me understand why I now live in Hell A? Why have I have chosen to live and work in a concrete jungle? LA has nice beaches I suppose, so it's "nobody's fault but mine, nobody's fault......."

Nether Regions

2006-05-09T20:30:00.000-07:00

My back has been hurting me since Sunday. Didn't really do anything in particular to it; just have always had problems with it. Funny thing though, is that this time - the first and hopefully last time - the back pain is accompanied by testicle pain. Yep, my balls hurt. I can't really say "hurt," it's more of a faint discomfort, kind of like, "do my balls hurt.........why, yes, I think they do, a little." And then it's gone and I fear that I'm becoming a hypochondriac. Which of course is the first sign of impending hypochondria: the fear that you are a hypochondriac. Maybe I should get this checked out. The hypochondria I mean, for every man must live with a little ball pain at different times in his life or the other kids will pick on him. Those punks.

My Beef w/ The Draconia

2006-05-08T14:19:00.000-07:00

I told you I would get my money back from the Grove parking management, and that they had their chance to make it right, but opted to stick to "policy." I just got back from Big 5 Sporting Goods, on yet another trip to try and find the perfect pair of sunglasses. For me, the perfect pair of sunglasses feels like butter when I slide them onto my face; they just need to feel "right." Next, the PPOS must have really good glass. I like polarized, but rose is quite nice as well, but it's just more about clarity of vision, and you can tell when you put on a pair. Now the final element: a low price. It's this final peice of the pie that makes PPOS so hard to find. If the first two are present, the last is almost never there. And I hate spending money on sunglasses as they just don't seem to stick around long.

But today I found a nice pair of Bolle's. Their not true PPOS, but they're close. I had narrowed my selection from about 6 pairs of sunglasses with the help of an employee, asking her opinion of all sunglasses, even asking her to try on certain pairs and rate them against others. So we finally got down to the runner-up, and what would be my choice for the day. One is a nice fitting, polarized set of New Balance for $29 (reduced from $80), and the pair of Bolle's for $70. I liked the Bolle's more, but not $41 more, and as I was about to settle [note: "settle"] for the New Balance, I asked if the Bolle's were on sale. At this point I was feeling pretty weasel-y as this was the same girl who helped me 3 weeks ago and scolded me for reaching into the case when she left it open. But this is when Karma kicks in. Her response: "They just went on sale. I can give them to you for $29." Bingo!!

I don't care if these glasses cost $1.05 to produce, this was all about buyer experience. I like the glasses, they're obviously not the best, but they'll work. To me, they were probably worth about $50, so the original price tag seemed a bit of a stretch. But at $29, when they weren't even marked as "On Sale," I feel like taking more of my sporting goods purchases to Big 5. Seriously, I'm a loyal customer and I will try to buy more stuff from them in the future based on today's sale.

Now the Grove on the other hand, they're still #1. Numero Uno on my Shit List that is....and I'm still going to write my letter tonight, and I think we'll still see a refund as a result.

C'est La Vie

2006-05-07T17:22:00.000-07:00

"Try to love all people. Get into the habit of loving, and you will see how your life will fill with more joy and happiness."
-Leo Tolstoy

Sometimes this is a tall order. Yesterday I went and saw Mission Impossible III at the Grove in Los Angeles. When the Grove first emerged, first rose up out of an empty lot, I actually liked it. I absolutely loved the new theater with it's big cushiony seats with cupholders and comfortable armrests that could be up or down. I was in hog heaven. Over the last year, and only because of my love for the theater, I have fought off this feeling that the Grove is actually more hassle than it is worth. The Apple store is cool, the Barnes and Noble is great, Nordstom and Crate and Barrel are decent.......now that I think of it, the stores aren't the problem. The problem is that everyone goes there. All the time. And trust me, it's not that cool. So I'm showing my true colors; I don't like crowds. I like having people around, but I don't like having to find the last available parking space in an enormous 7 story structure.

And so here is my problem: the parking. And you'll notice that I said, or rather typed "my problem." Yesterday I lost my parking ticket. Now everyone and their Llasa-terrier know what this means........you pay the maximum. Which at the Grove is $19. But gentle reader, for fear that you do not know me well, let me assure you that I understand rules, and I understand why we must have them. Without a rule like that, people could park there all day, and
then "lose" their parking ticket. I get that. But as a customer who spends quite a bit of money there - or actually it's my better half who does that - I appealled to the parking management's sense of fairness by explaining my situation.

Me: I have lost my parking ticket, and understand that the policy is to pay the maximum rate. But I was hoping we could pay a lesser amount as I am not lying to you about the lost ticket.

Her: You must pay the maximum rate, which is $19.

Me: {curious why she chose to restate a policy I had just told her I understood} I understand tha ma'am. I'm asking if you can make a one-time adjustment.
I have my ticket stubs from the movie I just saw, and my wife shops here frequently, and even has a Grove number so that you can look up and see how much she spends.
[it should be noted here that we don't spend a fortune there, but a pattern can be viewed that we do spend good money there, and consistently.]

Her: I'm sorry, sir, you must pay the $19.

Me: Again, I understand that is the policy. I can pay the $19 as it will not break the bank, but I am not going to be leaving here as a happy customer, and I can find everything that is here, somehwere else.

Me: {after waiting 20 seconds for her reply, that did not come} Are you still there?

Her: You must pay the $19.

At this point I just handed over my ATM card to pay the $19. Here is where the Grove loses though. They get $19 from me yesterday, and now I will make sure that I recoup this money either by writing a letter to the management office, or by simply choosing to not shop there. It's not about the $19, it's the principle, and this is what I think flew right over this woman's head. Yes, you must have a policy like this, and yes, sometimes it may need to be enforced because there are very good liars out there. But in this case, they have lost 2 customers who on average spend more than $19.